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September 2019: A Story by


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Weasels In Paradise

Once upon a way way way far away there lived fifty thousand tiny big weasels. The weasels was all happy with stuff and never cared for things they didn't have to. When one moved, they all moved. When another made a sound, they all made the same exact sound at the same exact time. If they could have flew, they would have tried that. Everything was satisfactory in the world of the weasels because they all got along with one another. They were cute. They were slippery. They were practical. They were smart.


One day all of the weasels instantly disappeared except for two. The two that remained were Craps and Malty. Craps had always been the smallest in the pack, but now that didn't seem to matter so much. Malty was the wild card, the one that made everyone laugh and laugh. But now that all the others were gone, there was much less laughter. Craps and Malty looked at one another with slightly puzzled expressions and began to discuss their situation.

"Damn groceries and kitchens," Craps exclaimed. "I hope we never have to prepare and cook."

"We won't. Now it's just us," Malty chuckled. "This is our chance to explore speedy things that juggle."

Without thinking or moving, the two weasels joined hands and began skipping forward. The momentum of the skip was strong enough to catapult them six hundred years into the future. A huge flash of white light appeared shortly afterwards, causing odd simple blips on the screens of mermaids.

"Wag your tail," Craps commanded.

And with that, they both wagged their tails as fast and as hard as they could. The gravity of the motions made them turn different directions, so that it was instantly impossible for them to get anywhere reasonable. But just when they thought there would be no destination, there suddenly was a destination. And it was a destination that neither of them would have ever imagined. Lying broadly at the foot of their feet was a companion trench that was filled with quality butter.

"It is a DREAM come TRUE!" exclaimed Malty. "Smell the goddamn butter!"

"Oh how proud Papa would be," Craps whispered as he waddled his front paw into the butter and scooped up a hefty portion.

When they looked up, they saw a sign that with the words Nurture Area painted all over it. As they stared at the letters, they started to read them. As they read the letters, they started to comprehend the words that contained the letters. As they spoke, they realized what the sign said.


"The sign says Properly Processed Cheese," cried Craps.

"That's what it says, all right," Malty replied. "But the Witch doesn't allow mouth etiquette."

And that truly must have been the case, because the Witch was really really upset and she didn't care who knew it. She stormed back and forth, shaking pieces off her dress and cackling wildly about some kind of hamster disease that neither of them had ever heard of before. She had magic stuff in her, but that didn't make Craps or Malty frightened. Instead, they reached over and kicked her gently until she started to nudge.

"Oh my goodness, " cried Malty. "We forgot to pay the power bill!"

"We don't have power bills," Craps replied.

"Oh yeah, that's right" Malty said with a completely blank snout.

The Witch was laying quietly nearby, saying nothing but meanwhile aware of everything. Her electronic notation was visibly notched, and her alterations were noticeably different sometimes. She stared at the weasels and began to concentrate as hard as she could. She could no longer fly, but in her mind she was flying continuously. When she closed her eyes she could see sparks and electricity, the peculiar kind that no one else was even aware of. Every few minutes she would fluster and bunch up all at once.

"What is your name, Witch?" Craps asked.

There was no answer. But shortly afterward a tiny little seamstress wandered onto a nearby pond.

"Care to buy some girdles?" the seamstress asked.

Craps and Malty looked at one another and started to laugh. How could she have known?

"We'll take fifty thousand," Malty demanded without hesitation.

"Do you want to be gift wrapped?" the seamstress inquired.

"We are already gift wrapped," Craps cried out with extra sass.


And with that they began spinning wildly so that all of their ribbons fribbled away like a multi-colored mass of hysteria...all bubbly and blinkered like the mythical bitchy snoopers from yonder areas.

A witch, a seamstress, and two weasels. But wasn't there something...missing?

As with any good thing that happens, forty or fifty bad things happen. And when one goes on, all the others go on as well. A puff of smoke lifted. A lifter padded the pumpers of punyville. The punyville villagers got snonky. And then all the dumb motorboats got swirled up in a gorilla nap.

The notices were everywhere. Witch on Nose Patrol. Seamstress on Bad Caption Law. Craps Maintains Secondary Partition. Malty, the Mouse-Smothered Proton.

The count began. One to two to thirty-six. Thirty-seven to eighty to seven hundred. Then more and more counts until the numbers was all so damn high that nothing could ever be counted no more.

"You forgot to pay the seamstress bill," warned the tiny seamstress.

That one puny statement caused everyone to get all honked up. The four characters tooted up toward the sky and scooted around like crazy metallic retards. Curds and whey was sprinkled where it could be and levered tramps racked up the munch of tinnie.

By now the Witch was all gone, with only a botched plow hole to show for it. Her mission had been a tragic one and she had mused porch allow for the fortunes of moon chaps.


"Me want onion!" Malty cried out.

Craps and the seamstress grabbed a monster onion and plowed it at Malty, whose arms were only too modular to tug at the tassels and minnow patterns. When one onion goes, another must follow. And so it was for the cracks in the toiling fortress.

There's an old saying that says, 'Grease get oiled for the loudest of the oil grips.' But when you say it, nothing gets done any faster or any different. So it just gets said a lot without ever making a damn bit of difference.

A lofty hair stylist named Romaine opened the door and invited them in.

"Let Romaine do the trollying!" he screamed as he tossed handfuls of sequins into the air.

He escorted Craps, Malty, and the seamstress to an area with three large padded stylist chairs and had them sit. He fastened the belts so that they were secure and quickly began snipping and trimming away. He was the irritant and the mustard in the monument. But even though their approval was negligible, they allowed the freak to finish what it did.

When it was done, Romaine twirled the chairs around in unison in front of a large seven dimensional mirror. The three newly-born model types unbuckled their belts and stood up. They ooohed and aaahed over their hair. They said tra-la-la a few times and then chunked Romaine down a thick pantry chute that apparently dumped out into a flooded septic area where dead things decay.

Funny how being pretty can cause dysfunction among friends. They felt mighty guilty, so they wrote a song to commemorate everything all at once. The nilly-willy song went like this:

Ditches the mists break.
Ditches that crawl.
Two times the litter train.
Two times the paw.

But our paws was all thicker
Than ruptures and slick.
Our rank in the positive,
Olive with tick.
The cranks on the beach
Are the budgies that crawl.
We lost things.
We lost lots of things.

But we all get damned.
Damned as hard as punch.
Hard as thick of a bitch.
Thick and stark as a crunch.

Sing a song of sing-song.
Song a sing of shang.
Sag a sog of wig-wog.
Tick a tog of grain.



Loud applause broke out for two seconds. And then no sooner than they had begun the song ended abruptly and they were all sitting cross-legged on a cloud. Then more loud applause for one second. Then they were all aboard a hopped-up lofty ship sailing across the sandy ocean waves.

Where one world ends another stops. And wherever one stops, another gets annoyed. That is how things work. That is how things have always worked.

The seamstress picked up a box of pencils and looked at them. At first the pencils seemed regular and utilitarian. But the more she stared at them the more flexible and adaptive they became. She touched one and it shook with deep blue mental. She touched another and it shocked the smack out of ranch country. She opened the box all the way and held it up to the Malty.

"Pick a pencil, any pencil," she instructed. "Now keep it hidden so that I can't see what it is."

"But you already KNOW what it is!" Malty exclaimed. "It's a goddamn pencil!"

The seamstress closed her eyes and held her tiny palms up into the air. She began to whisper and chant and conjure up things that were in the air. The air moved slowly at first and then faster and faster. All kinds of junk started joining the moving air. So much so that before they knew it everything had become something like a cluster tornado there.

"Wait, I am seeing something very clearly," the seamstress cooed. "I am seeing the image now...it is clearer and clearer. Ah ha! You are holding...A PENCIL!"

"You are stupid," Craps said with a dull thud. "You are stupid and this is stupid."


Weasels aren't always as stupid as stupid animals that sometimes seem slightly similar to their stupid species. And these two weasels weren't having none of that special pudding that had done been made for them. They spat at the stuff swirling in the air and placed it into percentages. The percentages weren't even at first, but as the porks startled they married the pigeon war taxi.

"What would you like for lunch today?" Craps asked, as he handed Malty a seamstress sandwich.

"I'd like a seamstress sandwich, if you please," Malty replied.

They cut the sandwich in half and each gulped theirs up quick.

Craps wiped Malty's mouth with a poultry patch and then delivered a spouty commentary. His purse got caught in the dimension of 28-23 and big dents was made in there that was impossible to fix real good.

When you fix things right, they ain't never the way they was. When you fix 'em wrong, they's just the right kinda thing swappy little Nancy always fixates on. Big is small. Small is big. Then they all mush together in the trappy owl of snig.

"Is there a little bit of sandwich left for Tammy?" Craps asked. "We forgot to pay the Tammy bill!"

"There IS no Tammy bill!" Malty snarled in anger.


He was tired of explaining the explanations because everything he explained always had to be explained and explained again with additional explanations. As tires get worn down, so do us. And us don't got no explain for the ranchy and the fantabulous. Craps jumped up suddenly and began to run

"MONKEYS is chasing us! MONKEYS is chasing us!" he screamed.

"That was cheap, corny, and predictable," Malty said in a deadpan tone.

There wasn't really no monkeys of course. So damn it if he did and damn it if he didn't. He just got back from Hell and didn't have time for no smash. He weren't drunk no more. And he wasn't high no more. He wasn't nothin' no more. He was just Malty and there was no time for snack.

"We got to ADOPT something," Malty said in a reasonable tone. "We got to adopt something RIGHT NOW from another species."

"Then we get RESECT!" Craps declared, before asking... "Then we get RESPECT?"

"Yes," Malty said quietly. "Then we get respect. That is what happening."


When everything was ready and they had the thing to adopt, they invited everyone from far and really far to come and witness so that proof could be provided. The ceremony was held at the Tantrum Museum, a small locale that was popular with things that were local and slightly foreign. The museum had thousands of items on display that had little or no value and were of interest to no one. As the crowd descended inside the building, they were greeted by dozens of basinets...each containing a tiny warm thon. Malty and Craps stepped forward and began surveying them all to decide which one to adopt.

"Welcome! Thank you all for coming," Craps announced in a heartfelt tone.

"Now is the time that we shall select our thon," Malty declared in a defiant tone.

They walked and looked and looked and walked. They picked up each thon and inspected it for limits and parallels. If the thon stunk, they dunked it. If it seemed primal, they made it go dippy. After sniffing and huffing and prodding and noodling, they eventually decided on the most special thon that was there.

"All hail our mighty new adopted thing!" Malty and Craps cried with joy.

The crowd cheered. They were happy. Malty and Craps were happy. Everyone joined everyone else with warm happiness. Happy swelled up real big inside the building. It kept swelling and swelling until the air went away. Then things started to die. First a big thing. Then a little thing. Then an old thing. Then a pretty thing. Things was just all dead and dying. Craps could see that the dead would catch up with their area shortly.

"We gotta get OUT of here...FAST!" he screamed as his wheels spun out of control, digging a messy trench in the vanilla patches of thawn.

The weasels ran fast and far. Then they stopped running and started stopping. They had to stop three times for pennies before they finally stopped all the way. Then things stopped for real. The thon had mutated into a honk. And it was not a pretty good honk. It was a bad evil honk.

They tied a rope to the honk's neck and dropped in into a water well. After lowering it fast, they heard a sharp crack. Then they cut the rope and began manufacturing envelopes. Then they heard a plunky sound that echoed various tones of lavender and chartreuse.

"Thar's plenty more thons where thattun came from!" Malty declared.

They forgot what they were doing and resumed. The resolution of the tragedy was broad and majestic, like the crumpled ovary of a mandarin pig. They slammed. They diaper-roped. And then they ravaged the sloping triangle of the horrible digging switch.

When one light turns on, another turns off. And then they all turn off together once and for all. Millions and millions of miles far away. Billions of stars everywhere and they're all completely identical. Burning and twinkling in their own unique way. But identical and generic each and every day.

Two divided by two equals twelve. And the beginning of each new day brings the end of eternity. The dreams we have become the depression we live with. With depression comes relief, and the few who survive will be the first to be extinguished. Little fluffy pots transform into puppies. And those puppies in turn become the tamper-resistant uniforms that will eventually be worn by future employees.

One for the dammit. Two for the hells. Three for the badges that birth fifteen-zillion whales.

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Additional Items Received:

Academics for Pure Boredom - Slurps
Additional Items Composed - Reversal of radishes
Additional Items Reversed - Back to the additional items
Adele - My frisky rat puppy done ate my head off
Alice Copper - Lob it to Seth
Allman Brothers - Aunt Sissy's lather bastard
Am Not - Am too
Anohni - Hopelessness
Anthroplod - Plodroanth
Antlers for Booboo - Oh no not that tired old runt again
Ape - Don't say no words
Apples Got Smushy - Train smush
Application For Crap - Please submit crap
Athens Is Not A City - Trauma for the bush animals
August Wish - Traps for punted
Augusta Is Not A City - Wilma for the plush panels

Bad Bump - Banana tread
Badfigure - Crooked down
Bambi Dambi - Lambi
Ballerina Pumps - Blackass
Barge - Limpy
Beadulls - Desmocker
Beatles - Medium
Beatles - Medium rare
Beatles - Rare
Beatles - Not as rare
Beatles - Stuff that was never recorded
Beatles - Stuff that we wish had never been recorded
Bee Numb - Numb bee
Beyonce - Sorry album
Beyonce - I can dance but that's about it
Beyonce - My face is ugly
Beyonce - Don't you get tired of hearing my stupid name all the time
Beyonce - I'm really a boring old hag
Beyonce - My fans have poor taste
Beyond the Beyonder - Blander and blander
Bjork - Jorky B
Black Tabitha - Pastor of senility
Blankets for Blankets - Laps
Blender in a Blinder - Fizzle
Bobo's Pretty Duster - Lamp off, lamp on
Davis Bowee - All the dumb dudes
Breezer the Flew - Like dazzlers in fume
Garth Brooks - I've recorded tons and tons and TONS of music
Garth Brooks - And yet you babysue folks have never reviewed ANYTHING
Garth Brooks - What is wong with you goddamn undergroud music snobs?
Garth Brooks - I'm rich, rich, RICH
Garth Brooks - If you've got lots of money, nobody cares if your voice is shitty
Bumps Fifty - West
Jenna Bush - Why does my face resemble the rectum of a pig?
Jenna Bush - Trying way too hard to be clever and cute
Butler Pudding - Lippity gris gris
Buzz's Lamp Cord - Tawny frink

Car Mump - Dazed and refused
Casket of Corformity - Laser dog
Cast of Cast - Lastly
Cat Grave - Mickey's laboratory
Cesula - Maid in martians
Chance The Rapper - Coloring book
Chicky Chicky Clock - Rump of the month slob
Chump - Malaria
Chunks of Paisley Pumps - Lordy the snore is a plaza burn
Eric Clapton - I still don't know what a guitar is
Phil Collins - No vocal skills required
Sean Combs - How come I never get reviewed in babysue?
Sean Combs - You don't like me just because I'm hugely famous
Sean Combs - Hey, I make a lot of money you underground jerks
Sean Combs - I'm rich, rich, RICH...ain't that what it's all about?
Sean Combs - Lookin' ugly for everyone
Come To Lulu's Nurse - Romp and the bumpy tum tum
Confederate Railroad - Happy to snort crystal speed
Conscious Or Not - Grumpy lazy
Crap You Like - Tape measure
Crosby, Stills & Nash - We were friends once upon a time
Crunchy Links - Switches and prawns
Miley Cyrus - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Miley Cyrus - I guess it's because my music lacks substance
Miley Cyrus - I wish I wasn't dull and boring
Czerchnkii - Dim

Dadfinger - Where's dad's finger when you need it?
Dae Dae - Mae Mae
Daisy Days - Freezing
Damn People - Damn People
Damn Tumblers - Damn Tumblers
Damn Warp - Damn Warp
Damn Zoo - Damn Zoo
Devonte - I'm fish food now
Diets Are For Dimwits - Lassie's lost pudding cup
Dimmer than Dim - Inputs
Diorssi - New York is my damn
Dirty Pennies - Flocks and pimps
Doves That Die Today - Lassie
Driplite Dirtbag - Directional
Dry Potato - Sync
Ducks for Ducks - Nine hundred ponies
Dumb Sounds - Like Nanny and the poodle

Each and Each - Teach
Eachy - Preachy
Eat The Bounty Feathers - Naptime
Ectonerf - Bah baddah bah
Elephant Muff - Beneath the blurry knob
Elves and Bumpy Thumpers - Original motion picture soundtrack
Emergency Flakes - Phasers
Empty - Flow
Empty Flower - 1 2 3 4
Enough for Five Thousand - One bottle
Enter the Entrance With Lockets - Glasses on the puddle
Eventually We'll All Die With Nothing - Pom poms
Everyone But - But Everyone
Ewe - Ranch funk
EZ - Not so

FA - La la
Famous Famous - Converter
Far Out Far In - Farin
Faxes Forever - Limp little pixies
Ferz - Lizzy
Fifty Million - Zero lads
Finks Forever - Live at the dead
Five Times Fifty-Five - Live
Four Times Four Is Four - Five times
Foxes - All I need
Fume - Lumps
Funky Laminate - Parking
Fur For Francis - Pouches

Gang of Flower - Untertainment
Gas Pumps - Last primper
Gauge Rage - Now cow
Germany's Burp - Lamp drill
Get Your Begging Done - Tower bitch
Vince Gill - Down to my last bad habit
Goddamn Children - Goddamn us all to hell
Graham Slackers - Naturally grabby
Ariana Grande - My fame proves that people are retarded schmucks
Grandmothers and Grandfathers - Nothing else to live for except the goddamn grandchildren
Grass Patches - Dolby
Josh Groban - Sitting on a toilet for charity

Hamster on a Bun - Heartache on a bun
Hamster on a Lettuce Leaf - Try to find something to stuff in your cheeks
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - Where did our love go
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - We loved Jesus very much
Jennifer and Sarah Hart - Happy together forever because we died together
Hay - Hay
Hazle - Measurements
Hell for Humans - Happiness is a dumb puppy
Help Me Help Me - Liver
Help the Hopeless - Bloody hearts get you nowhere
Hissy - Laserbon
Hitt - Dawn for the loud birds
Hizzers - Stuck
Whitney Houston - Howzuh bauwduh nuthuh drank?
Whitney Houston - You put water in my drink
Ian Hunted - Punts and nuttters
Husperate - ADN
Hut for Henry - Universe of sandy
Huzzle - Earlier albums

Ian - Jackknife
Icky - Picky, picky, picky
If It Dies Don't Touch It - I offered more than they wanted and they took it
If You Knew Nothing You Would Be Nothing - Drips
Inky Doll - Dampness and dryness
In The End The Beginning - Ridgefield
It Stays Warm - Square butter
IX Lamb Sweater - To each his each
IZZ - Each his to his

Alan Jackson - Now that I'm a girl
Alan Jackson - Now that I'm half a girl
Alan Jackson - My dress has a big tear in it
Alan Jackson - And my eyeliner is all messed up now
Michael Jackson - Off the floor
Michael Jackson - Towers of mops
Michael Jackson - Nose dopes
Jerry's Apple - Towers
Jerry's Crud - Narry a buster
Jersey is Swervy - Translustre
Jethro Toil - Sick as a tick
Jethro Wump - Aquatong
Jethro Zoo - Minstrel in the snake exhibit
Elton John - Where did my voice go?
Jones Is A Donkey - Drammamine
Jones Is An Elephant - Mine ain't mine
Judas Priest - Battle cry
Junk Is Just Junk - Lady trunk

Kaas - Lacey
Kalesh - Kaos
Kandy and the Ks - Lassie's drool
Kows - Land of the Kows
Kraftlunch - Radio lunch
Kraftdinner - Electric dinner
Kraftsnack - Trans euro snack
Krap - Krap
Krazy Cow - Lots of tips
Krunchy Krunch - Captain's caps and tons
Kudzu's Lamp - Drastic
Kunks - The Late Glossy Kunks Album

Lab Crutch - Tramps that David hates
Ladies For Pretzels - Louder than the other thing that we had discussed earlier
Lady Gaga - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Lady Gaga - If I look really strange, nothing else matters
Lamb Peppers - Smuppy
Lamps for the Homeless - These goddamn things don't work
Cindi Lauper - Elderly grandmothers with bad hair colors
Laxative Preamble - Naps and snappers
Let There Be Let - Now there be meow
Lisa Said - First time, long time
Lists - Stop the Lists
Loretta Lynn - Sings her favorite Nine Inch Nails songs
Loud and Loud - Dull and dull
Lumineers - Cleopatra
Lumps - Lousy mouses
Lung Disease - Trowel

Manners and Nanners - Tablets for pokey
Maroon 5 - Music for shitheads
Maroon 5 - Stupid people love our music
Maroon 5 - Our lead singer is one ugly old homo
Trayvon Martin - Skittuzz fo evuhbuddeh
Trayvon Martin - Juss a boy on his way to duh candee sto
Masta Ace - The falling season
Matchbox - Going down there
Math for Math's Sake - Plazas
Maze Lops - Trazzler
Mazer's Big Torch Bucket - Lipsy
Bruce McArthur - People in pots
Bruce McArthur - Landscape architect blues
Bruce McArthur - Big 'n' playful
Paul McCartney - Nursing home blues
Tim McGraw - Do anything for charity
Tim McGraw - Do anything to make money
Millie's Pork Bucket - Boxes won't go away
Money for Puny People - Lucky drop
Monkey Chuck - Arlene
Monkey Davis - Nervous
Monkey Pauline - Damnable
Moo Moo the Bow Wow - Trouser's ain't fresh no more
Motorhead - Clean your clock
Motorbutt - Clock your cleaners
Mrowl - Prowling for mrowl
Murphy and Nop - Dammy and slop
Murphy and Nuns - Drippy nun bitches
Murphy's Paw - Plaid and dumb
My Evening Girdle - Snippets and drabble
My Evening Snot - Things my animals forget to learn

David Nail - Fighter
Nasal and Tonsil - Lasers and urchers
Ned and the Headrumpers - Trowels
Aaron Neville - Apache
Newsboys - God's not dead
New York Dolls - We weren't real dolls
New York Dolls - We were real dolls
New York Dolls - We were really from Portland
New York Dolls - But we realized no one would buy music by the Portland Dolls
No More Blouses - Farmy
No More Bundt Cakes - Prowler
No More Cactus - Deal or no no
Nothing That You Haven't Heard Before - Repeat it
Now Cows - Blouses and thermometers
Numb's Fumbler - Town and mouth

Octorub - Norbie
Oh No That Old Shithead Is Here Again - Rotten old schmucks with no manners
Oooh - Uuuuuh
Oooh Oooh - Uuuuuh uhhh
Opposite of Opposite - Lopposite
Orange Floyd - Sharp glide of the goon
The Orb - It's 1963 and the stripes are grinding
The Orb - Big fluffy omelets
Osmosis - USB #7
Other Muzzles - Howdy Pops
Oz and the Schnoz - Pow wows and monkeys

Painted Fuss - Nope
Pants and Pantless - Rainy press
Part Blub - Fran is ugly
Dolly Parton - Lots of money makes me happy
Dolly Parton - Lots of attention makes me happy
Dolly Parton - Lots of everything makes me happy
Paws With Fingers - Ink bus
Pet Shop Boys - Super
Poodle Powder - Dust of the dawgie
Mike Posner - At night, alone
Pranks for Steak Loads - Heaps of slop
The Puddles - Nappy load
Punk Biscuits - Sap
Punk Noodles - Take this noodle and cook it
Puny - Runny infection
Pusfergradison - Nay, the basket sayeth

Quacks - Trippy truck
Quails and Trucks - Lamb power
Queen For A Tray - Lower the pork
Query - Stop the questions
Quest for Dope - Smoking snuff
Quails Got Drunk - Beer and tissue paper
Quarternelson - A trotter in snuffer's cloning
Quicker Than Daffy - Cords that don't work
Quiet Little Worm Thing - Never thought about it and never want to now
Quiz Germs - Links that don't work
Quurtie - Lousy bench

Radiodud - Half of the basic shop
Radishes - Lavish stickers
Debbie Rafter - Lemme after
Raws - Raws and raws
Reel to Raoul - Mouthpiece
Reform Club - Never yesterday
Rely On Relish - Candy dash
Mick Rhodes & The Hard Eight - Paradise city
Roasted Trap - Asia's not there anymore
Rolling Bones - Get your mama's kraut
Rolling Chunks - Flower pots
Rolling Dammits - Sure thing not sure
Rolling Elderly People - Stocky plungers
Rolling Joints - Finky stinkers
Rolling Monkeys - Monkeys on Main Street
Rumpy - USBs and RTDs
Runny - Tippy's revenge
Rush - Beneath, between and behind
Ruzzer - Bow to the Ruzzer
Rylo - The dog's head is not steady anymore

Larry Samual - Barney doesn't have hugs for me
Santa Died Last Night - Presenting...
Santa Did It - Lamenting
Ed Sheeran - How come I never get mentioned in babysue?
Ed Sheeran - It's because my music is crummy, isn't it?
Ed Sheeran - Why do I look and sound so crummy?
Ed Sheeran - Are there any questions that have answers?
Blake Shelton - Can't help it if I'm a boring dullard
Blake Shelton - If you're into what I do you're obviously on the wrong web site
Blake Shelton - If people think I'm handsome they must really be confused and retarded
Shotgun Louise - Rampy dim
Shotgun Tina - Lousy lamps
Shotgun Zappa - Mouses and mouses
Smashing Drumsticks - Pass the pepper
Smuppy - The tatters that ground pepper
Sparse - Kim's Ono spy mouse
Bruce Springsteen - The Crazy Boss
Bruce Springsteen - I'm a generic old woman now
Bruce Springsteen - Shallow songs that everyone can buy
Barbra Streisand - Barfing up my breakfast
Styx - Suite madame blue: Radio broadcast 1977
Sultans of Swing - Subcontinental drift
Swap and Change - Loudness weird
Swenter - Flowers
Taylor Swift - How come I never get reviewed in babysue?
Taylor Swift - Well, if your publicist would send something...you might.
Taylor Swift - Really?
Taylor Swift - Sure
Swy - Rent

Tai Tai - Lists
Talking Sheds - Lambs forking up tonsils
Tea For Lunch - Massachusetts isn't a country
Teepee Tupperware - Laura's butter pand
Telltale - Taller toll
Thuds - Ready for emperors
Thunder - All you can eat
Justin Timberlake - Can't stop being shallow
Tonk - Thoughtly
Trilly Dills and Damp Dippers - Witch white
Trunk Idiots - Laugh when it's all over
Try To Try - Stop and try
Tummy Bus - Lambs and prawns
Tunker - Lassie's paw
TZ397 - Rowl the smunk

Ugly Banana - How do the hussy wink
Ugly Orange - Do the mouse
Ultraplucks - Eyebrow mania
Umbrella Vision - Church of tassle
Uncle Duck - Mushed
Uncle Pregnant - Does and rodents
Carrie Underwood - I'm proof that people will buy anything
Carrie Underwood - Making money is more important than making good music
Carrie Underwood - Cliff diving lesbians
Keith Urban - More pork from my smelly pig face

Various Artists - A collection of dull dribble that no one will ever notice
Various Artists - We stopped makin' em because they stopped buyin' em
Various Artists - No one buys these kinds of compilations anymore so that's why we keep producing 'em
Various Artists - Tribute to someone whose name we can't remember
Various Artists - Trying to get something heard never works
Various Artists - The most boring bands you never cared to hear
Various Artists - We're the last ones to know the last ones
Various Artists - Our albums are always the first to get thrown away
Various artists - Who gets to eat the trash

Wally Is Near - Stamp that thing goodbye
Wanda and the Wandas - Limp
We Don't Get It - Now is the now
Well I Guess This Is Just Another One - Lumps
Whether Or Not - Lousy weather
Why Can't We Eat It In The Car - Marbly
William XIII - XIII or 238
Wind That Goes - Don't

X - The day we tied our shoes wrong
Xie - La la the distance away
X-ray Pecs - Lookie away
X-ray Stats - Box cutters and tramplers
Xzistance - Lift down

Yack Yack - Tacky tick
Yell All The Time For Whatever You Pay For It - Taxi service
Yellow Floyd - Park wide until noon
Yesterday's Potties - Damp portions
Yes We Will Be Bananas - Trap doors
Yes You - You guessed it
You might - Yes you might
You never - Well I never
Young and Bland - Stick, stuck
Yoyos for Panama - Sharp
Yoyos for Zop - Trollo mia presto
Yuck This Tastes Awful - Don't eat it then

Zappa and the Zappettes - Trown
Frank Zappa - How flowers got in the potty train
Frank Zappa - Lukewarm mouses
Zi - See Zi play
Zunk - How the leaves got patchy
Zupper - Towels for Blanche
Zyle - Twelve and fifty

©2019 LMNOP (aka dONW7)