In Coffee Problems 01 Marble was having great difficulty making coffee that would please her husband Joe.  Eventually Marble and her friend Din-Din came up with a plan that worked.  They rendered Joe unconscious and forced it down his throat.  At that point they figured they had solved the problem.  But things became more complicated in Coffee Problems 02 when Marble and Joe were faced with even more compelling situations.

Joe sat in the breakfast nook slowly sipping on his coffee.  You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was in ecstasy.  The gentle inviting aroma filled the room, making it the perfect morning to spend with his wife.

"I love you," Joe whispered as his wife Marble entered the room.

Marble sat down next to her husband while serving some piping hot coffee.

"Gosh Joe.  I'm so glad you like the coffee."
"Like it?  I love it!  It's the best damn coffee of all time!"
"Really?  You really think so?"
"Yes, I really really think so.  And I also think you're the best damn wife of all time!"
"Oh you flatterer!  How you tease!"
"Just telling the truth."

And with that, Joe reached over and gave Marble the biggest hug of her life followed by five minutes of passionate mouth smushing.  Marble felt like she was in heaven.  Joe loved her coffee and he loved her.  Plus she lived in the most desirable neighborhood in the city.  What more could a woman ask for?  She had everything she always wanted.  And more.

Just then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Wuh...?  Wuzzat...???"

It was Joe waking her up.  She had been dreaming.  Her mind had created the world she longed for, so the entire thing was her imagination at work.

"Get up and fix me some breakfast or I'm going to be late for work!"
"Mmmmmph . . . mmmm . . . okay.  Let me put on my robe."

Now that things were real and normal, Marble began to question everything again.  Would Joe enjoy his morning coffee like he did in her dream?  Or would he rush off to work as usual, not having time to even taste it?

"Here's your coffee Joe."
"Uh, thanks.  Did you hear about what happened?"
"No.  What happened?"
"Something happened somewhere and it's a really big deal because it affects lots and lots of people."
"Oh dear, that is very troubling."
"Not really.  It's not all that important when you consider things from a larger perspective."
"Larger perspective?  What do you mean?"
"Whenever anything happens you must remember that the event that seems so large and important in your mind is teeny tiny when you consider how tiny it is in relation to the universe and beyond."
"Gosh Joe, is this really the kind of conversation we need to be having at 5:30 AM?"
"Sure it is.  Anytime is a good time to contemplate reality."
"But if you take that approach then nothing is important."
"That's right."
"What is right?"
"Nothing is important."
"What about getting to work?  Isn't that important?"
"No."
"Then why go?"
"Because bills have to be paid.  If we didn't have bills, I wouldn't go to work."
"Then let's get rid of the bills."
"Okay."

And with that one swift word Joe waved his arms over the table and the large stack of bills that were laying there suddenly disappeared.

"Wow!  That was magical!"
"Yeah, you could say that."
"Joe.  Make all the kitchen stuff go away too.  I hate cooking and dealing with food all the time."

Joe stood up, knelt to the floor and bowed his head in the direction of the refrigerator.  Suddenly without warning the refrigerator disappeared along with the dishes, utensils, food, dishwasher and stove.  The only food-like item that remained was the lonely coffee percolator sitting on the edge of the counter.

"What about this thing, Joe?"
"What about it?"
"Why is the percolator still here?"
"It prepares coffee, not food.  We don't need food.  But we do need coffee."
"But why do we need it when you never drink coffee?"
"Are you talking back to me little lady?"
"Well yes.  Yes I was.  I was talking back."
"Where did you learn to talk anyway?"
"From my parents, I guess.  Why?"
"Did your parents talk too much?"
"My mother did.  But my father was kinda quiet."
"Were you dreaming last night?  You were mumbling really loud about something in your sleep."
"I had a dream.  But you don't want to hear about it."
"You're right.  Hey, how about all that stuff that's been happening?"
"What stuff?"
"Oh, I dunno.  Some more stuff happened somewhere.  Or at least that's what it said in the newspaper."

Joe stood up and raised his arms toward the ceiling and then proudly made a proclamation.

"Now we is bunnies."

Within an instant they were suddenly both floppy bunnies.  Marble was a beautiful tan rabbit with floppy ears and Joe was a cuddly brown bunny with a patch of soft pink on his tummy.

The bunnies sniffed at one another and looked at the screen door.  Joe hopped up and pushed it open and then they both hopped merrily out the door and onto the lawn which was growing larger and larger every second.  Before they could realize what was happening their tiny little yard had transformed into two thousand acres of lush green lawn that was chock full of clover.  Marble and Joe situated themselves beside a particularly tasting looking patch and began to nibble.  Slowly at first, but it wasn't long before they found themselves gorging at high speed eating every single clover in sight. 

"No bills.  No food to prepare.  No percolator.  I love you Joe.  I love you for making all the bad things go away."

But just as the words left her rabbit mouth Marble looked up to the sky and couldn't believe her eyes.  There standing in the middle of the giant acreage was the biggest percolator she had ever seen.  It towered up into the sky for fifty miles or more.  It was so large that she could barely make out what it was.  What was the point of this?  Was Joe trying to send her a subliminal message?

"Are you trying to tell me something?"
"No.  Why?"
"Well it would seem that you created this massive percolator for a reason."
"I didn't.  Honest."
"So who did?"
"Beats me."

Just then they heard a bubbling gurgling sound.  The percolator was percolating.  They watched as thousands upon thousand of gallons of coffee flowed down into the huge coffee pot.  It was just like being at Niagara Falls except for the aroma and caffeine.

"We are very wonderful!"
"We certainly are.  We are so very wonderful and intelligent!  I wonder why all the people on earth can't understand how minuscule and unimportant they are."
"It is because they are unable to see things beyond their own narrow perspectives."
"That is why we are rabbits now.  We can look back and reflect.  Why can't everyone?"
"Everyone doesn't have the capacity.  That's why their lives are so dull and uninteresting."
"Really?"
"Of course.  Their small brains can't comprehend anything beyond their limited environment.  That's why they focus on stupid trivial things."
"I'm so glad we left those lives behind.  I am much happier now."
"Well of course!  We are both much happier!  And now that we have entered this realm we can never ever go back."
"I hope not!  Our daily lives in the other world were so...BORING."
"They sure were.  So what are we going to do with this giant percolator?"
"Let's get away from it . . . FAST!"

And with that the bunny couple playfully hopped away faster than the speed of light.  They were going so fast that everything turned into an unrecognizable blur.  When they finally stopped they were in another galaxy.

"Where are we, Joe?"
"We're in another galaxy.  Can't you read?"
"Read what?"
"Look up.  It just said we are in another galaxy."
"What said it?  I don't see anything."
"Oh.  I forgot that you can't see that stuff."

"Want carrot?" Joe asked as they found themselves sitting right on top of a great big Space Carrot.
"Yes!  Want carrot!"

Marble and Joe circled the circumference of the carrot on their swivel seats with a spinning mode, having a grand old time.  Their minds hopped and popped until they could barely flop at all.  Then they stopped beside a nearby pond that had formed at the base of the carrot.  There on the bank sat Marble's best friend Din-Din with her face in her hands.  She did not look happy.  And she was definitely not a bunny rabbit.

"Why are you still human?" Marble asked.
"No one invited me to the transformation," Din-Din snapped with sad despair.  Her forked tongue shot off shards as she spoke.

As soon as Din-Din had uttered those words a supernova suddenly burst out from the carrot propelling her far far far into deep space.  As she was sucked into a super massive black hole Marble and Joe could barely hear her final anguished cries for help.

"You know, she was kinda irritating," Marble said blankly.
"To Hell with Din-Din," Joe replied.  "She was just a marginal character.  Let's celebrate!"

Joe rose to his back legs and wiggled his nose as if giving a nod to some new kind of clothes.

Out of nowhere a forceful deep hum began to resonate just like your left thumb.

A blinding white light that was strangely polite calmly consumed everything in sight.

And that was the thing that just happened tonight to let them both know everything was all right.

END